That Word
by cookielover101
Summary: I'm tired of hearing that word, but no one has noticed. Not that I show it anyway. i just want that word to stop entering my ears. One-shot NO SLASH


**A/N: Taylor's first one-shot has finally arrived! Oh yeah. I'm actually very excited for this (don't ask me why) I know this has been done like a bazillion times but I wanted to write my own version of it.**

**Disclaimer: Yes. I am Scott Fellows and I own BTR. -.- No I don't own BTR **

It's hard. _Extremely _hard. People look at me, and judge me. When they get to know me they assume that everything is fine with my life. I have a fun-loving and carefree attitude and a happy-go-lucky personality. This is what I reveal to the outside world; but on the inside it's quite the opposite. Well- no entirely. I still often feel happy and free, but then I hear _the word._ The word that makes my whole world crumble and fall around me; the millions of pieces of matter in the world just throwing themselves onto my shoulders. When people say _the word_ it makes me upset, though I will hardly ever show it. I'll frown for half of a second then smile again, not wanting anyone to see through my façade.

**BTRBTRBTRBTR**

I was sitting at the Palm Woods Park on a yellow bench, thinking about _the word_, and how it makes me feel. '_Sad,'_ I thought. _'Worthless, dumb, __**not enough**__,' _I hate feeling this way. I don't think people realize how much it hurts. Everyone gets called this one time or another, but the fact that I've been called this _so many times, _and by _so many people, _hurts more than anything. Kids call me that, adults call me that, my friends call me that, heck- even my family has called me that once or… 8 times.

I was so caught up in my thoughts that I didn't notice that some of my friends were gathering around me. "Carlos," Kendall called, waving a hand in front of my face. "Huh?" I said, sitting up from my position with my hand on my knuckle. "Whew, I thought you went brain-dead for a while there bud," James said jokingly. I frowned. "Nope," I said. "Just thinking." Camille gasped. "_The_ Carlos Garcia is _thinking?_ Oh no, the apocalypse is coming!" She exclaimed, throwing her arms up around dramatically. My frown deepened and I sighed heavily while the others all laughed like it was the funniest thing in the world. "What's wrong Carlos?" Jo asked wiping a tear from her eye. "Nothing," I replied blankly, standing up and walking away.

I could hear them all calling after me, but I made no effort to acknowledge them. As I entered the lobby I heard Kendall jog up to me and say, "Come on Carlos, we were just joking." I stepped into the elevator. "Well it's not funny," I said just as blankly as before. Before he could get a chance to reply I pushed the button and the doors of the metal cage closed.

I stepped out of the elevator when the doors slid open again. I was upset, not upset enough to cry, and definitely not upset enough to yell at my friends, but I just felt like I needed to be alone for a while. I opened the door to 2J and saw Logan and my girlfriend Lori sitting (more like squatting) on the couch playing videogames. Not wanting to disturb their fun, I quietly closed the door and started heading for my room-

"Carlos!" Lori shouted, not taking her eyes off the screen. "Come play with us babe!" "Yeah c'mon Carlos! I'm 5 points away from beating Lori then we can play together," Logan exclaimed. 'No thanks, I'm just going to go in my room for a bit," I said biting my lip, hoping I convinced them enough to get passed them. I saw Logan pause the game. "What's the matter?" he suddenly questioned, him and Lori looking at me with questioning eyes. "Nothing! I just want to go and take a nap," I said very unconvincingly. Lori put her controller down and stood up, walking toward me. "Dude, what's up?" she asked seriously. "Nothing!" I said loudly, throwing my arms up in the air. I noticed that Logan had followed her previous lead and was now behind my girlfriend of 8 months. "Carlos, I have known you since we were 4 and _everybody _is aware that you can't lie to _her,_" he stated, pointing his finger close to Lori's head. She glared at him then bit his still too close finger. "OW!" he shouted, cradling his finger to his chest. "What did you do that for?" he asked, his voice full of disbelief. "I did that because your finger, was WAY too close to my face," she replied defiantly. "Yeah well…" I didn't bother listening to the rest of their argument, for I took that as my chance to get away.

Just as I was about to make a break to my room I heard Lori yell, "HEY! Get back here! We're not finished talking to you!" I ran into my room and closed the door, and put all my weight on it. "Let us in!" the two said simultaneously. "No! I'm going to take a nap!" I lied. "Let us in right now! We want to know what's wrong with you!" Logan pressed. "What? You're um- breaking… up… bad…-ception…g…-ye," I said pretending like I was on a phone with bad reception. "What? Carlos that's so stupid!" Lori claimed. I let go of the doorknob and took my weight off the door.

When I went to go sit on my bed the door flung open and Logan and Lori tumbled onto the floor. "Hey what was-" Logan stopped mid-rant when he looked at me. I sighed. "Do you… do you guys think I'm stupid?" Their faces turned from looks of slight rage to looks of confusion. "What? Why would you think that?" Lori asked, sitting on bed, Logan following suite. "Because everyone says that I am. _Every single day_. I have to hear "Carlos, that's so stupid" or "Carlos you're such an idiot" and stuff like that."

"But everybody has someone say that to them once in a while," Logan stated.

"Yeah but _everybody _says it to me _all the time._ There hasn't been a day in… 8 years where I haven't been called stupid. I've been called stupid or an idiot or a retard since I was 8! Do you know how it feels? Now every day I have to listen to 50 people call me stupid 50 times a day."

"Carlos… we all know that you're exceptionally smart. Have you _seen_ your grades? Especially in science! They're even better than Logan's!" Lori yelled, Logan glaring at her because of the previous comment.

"Yeah, but that's on tests. I guess I'm smart on paper, but not so smart off of it."

"Look Carlos, I know I've been one of these people and I am really sorry. But why didn't you tell us?" Logan questioned softly.

I shrugged. "I don't know. I guess I just didn't want people to think I was overly sensitive. Also because I've presented myself as this always happy, loving, caring guy, and that's what people expect. So if I just started acting upset I'd have the whole Palm Woods at the doorstep; and I didn't want that."

Lori hugged me. "I'm so sorry Carlos. I'll never call you stupid again." She declared.

"Well don't do that," I argued.

"Why not?" I smiled. "Because then it would be too different.

"Is there anything that anyone said that particularly hurt?" Logan asked. "Well today, when I was thinking in the park Jo, Kendall, James and Camille came up me to and started making jokes. They were asking if I was brain dead and making sound that me thinking is an event that would have to be broadcasted world-wide. I guess that kinda hurt, y'know?" They nodded.

Just as they did that the teenagers just mentioned walked into the room, looking guilty. I looked down at my lap, not wanting to look at them "Carlos…" Camille started. "Don't. It's fine, you're right I am brain dead and me thinking is just as big news as Obama killing Osama," I said dejectedly.

"Carlos don't think that, we were wrong and what we said was horrible and rude and we hope that you can forgive us," Kendall rambled. I stayed silent. "We overheard your conversation that you guys had," Jo admitted. "We're so sorry," James and Camille said together.

"It's fine," I shrugged. "No it's not. _We_ were the ones who were being stupid," Kendall declared defiantly.

"We were also selfish,"

"Rude,"

"And just plain mean," the others added. I looked at them and saw that the look in their eyes were genuine. I smiled. "It's OK guys, I forgive you." Everyone else broke out into smiles and tackled me in a huge hug. We all laughed and I truly believed that I wasn't so stupid anymore.

**BTRBTRBTRBTR**

**A/N: Ok wow, that took a while for me to finish but I'm proud of it, my first one-shot! Woooooo! I hope you all enjoyed this as much as I did. Reviews are greatly appreciated. Criticisms are also valued for they help me as a writer. Reviewers get muffins of their choice! **

**Oh and those who are reading my other stories I have the chapters ready but FF is being retarded and not letting me post. :/ So don't worry I'm working on it and I'll update ASAP!**

**Later peepz**


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